I Thought I Didn’t Need Leadership Development Books, and Turns Out, I Was Wrong

I used to roll my eyes at leadership development books. However, all were the same for me. I remember seeing those books, slick covers, bold fonts, titles practically yelling at you. “Unleash Your Inner Leader Within!” and whatnot. Whereas, I used to think they were written for the corporate elite or those workshop junkies who take icebreaker games way too seriously. Not for me.

At the time, I was barely keeping my own life in check, and leading anything, even myself, felt laughable. However, my job was decent, my days were packed, and “personal growth” sounded like something you’d pin on a Pinterest board and never look at again.

Eventually, everything changed; I got promoted.

And just like that, suddenly, everyone expected me to know things.

The Promotion That Woke Me Up

It wasn’t a massive jump. Just a small step up, officially. Unofficially? I went from just another team member to the one making the calls. I honestly thought the worst part would be managing meetings or offering feedback without soaking my shirt. Ha. That was the easy stuff.

What hit me was how people looked at me differently. They waited for my take. Then came the deference. Afterwards, asked for decisions I wasn’t even sure I should be making. And when things didn’t go well? That was on me.

Eventually, I landed on a list of best leadership development books. I resisted for about a week. But then I caved.

I bought one. Just one.

Reading in Secret (and Mild Shame)

The first among leadership development books I picked up was called Dare to Lead by Brené Brown.

It was raw and kind of uncomfortable. There were parts about vulnerability that made me squirm, because who wants to hear that leading well starts with showing your feelings? Ew. Gross. No thank you.

Even though it stuck with me. That whole “you can’t be a good leader unless you’re honest about your own crap” thing… it started to make sense.

I tried one of the exercises from the book during a one-on-one with my direct report. I told her I wasn’t sure I was doing a good job leading yet, but I cared about getting it right. Her face changed. She leaned in. And she said something that stopped me:

“Honestly, I didn’t think you were going to be the kind of manager who listened.”

Oof. But also—yes. That cracked something open.

Not Just for CEOs (or Extroverts)

After that, I got curious. I started slowly collecting more books about leadership development, still trying not to make a big deal out of it.

It was about taking care of your people. Not in a “bring donuts to the meeting” way (though, side note, that actually works). Rather, it required taking care of the safety, exposure, and support for each of them. It helped me understand and ashame of that how little i have spent thinking about the humans on my team.

Not just the metrics. Not the quarterly goals.

The humans.

That alone changed the way I started showing up at work.

From Skeptic to Low-Key Evangelist

At some point, maybe around the fourth or fifth book, I stopped hiding it. I’d underline sentences. Send screenshots to friends. 

One of the best leadership development books I read around then was The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo. That one felt like it was written for me. Not for a tech executive. Not for a Harvard MBA. For someone just trying to figure it out without messing everything up.

She talked about the awkwardness. The guilt. I was always caught between being too lenient or too rigid. She didn’t fake perfection. Consequently, I listened.

I started to notice a shift. In my team. In myself.

Not overnight. I still made mistakes (lots of them), still said the wrong thing sometimes, or forgot to give feedback in a helpful way. But over time, I owned it more. I asked better questions. I became less obsessed with being impressive and more interested in being useful.

When Books Become Mirrors

What surprised me most was how these books didn’t just teach me to lead others better. They made me confront parts of myself I’d been ignoring.

I had to reckon with the fact that I sometimes avoided hard conversations. That I’d rather fix things myself than delegate and trust. That I secretly believed my worth was tied to being liked.

Those aren’t management issues. They’re human ones.

And yet, when you start reading books about leadership development, you realize the two can’t be separated. Leading well is living well. It’s just doing it with more eyes on you.

And if that sounds intense, well—it is.

But, it’s also oddly freeing.

Final Thoughts (and a Quiet Confession)

So yeah. I used to think leadership development books were self-help fluff dressed in business clothes. Now? I see them as lifelines.

I’m not saying every book will change your life. Some won’t.

But then there’ll be one. One that feels like someone cracked open your brain and whispered, “Hey. I’ve been here too.”

And that one? That one will stay with you.

I keep a few of those books on a shelf at work now. In plain sight. Sometimes people borrow them. Sometimes they ask why I have them. And sometimes, they just quietly pick one up and start reading.

I don’t push it.

But if they ask, I just say: “I thought I didn’t need them either. But turns out… I was wrong.”